At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
