ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
