he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
