Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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