That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
