He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
