Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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