You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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