Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
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