I love black thongs
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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