my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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