Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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