Me. At least after what I've been through.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
