is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
