is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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