Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
