All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
