I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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