Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
