If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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