You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
