I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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