So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
high people should be assigned attendants
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Randomize
