Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
