Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You need Xanax blowdarts
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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