I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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