We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
