and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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