You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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