Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
