But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Randomize
