You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
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