My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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