when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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