My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
