He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
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