Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
