walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
