and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
