so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
