I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
