We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
