i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
