All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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