Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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