how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Randomize
