yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
