so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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