just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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