so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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