I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
