I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
