Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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